That Time I Baptized a Child Rapist into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
For more than 30 years, I have carried a story I was too ashamed to tell.
During my Mormon mission in the 1990s, in Warrenton, Fauquier County, our mission baptized a man who was later arrested and convicted of statutory grape and CSA.
What haunts me is not just the baptism.
It’s what came next.
As a 19-year-old missionary—operating under blind obedience, institutional pressure, and a warped sense of “saving souls”—I sat in court in support of a child predator while his victim testified about the destruction of her life. And I did it with the approval of mission leadership.
This video is not about clickbait.
It is not about distancing myself from responsibility.
It is not about pretending “we didn’t know better.”
We should have known better.
At the time, missionary culture prioritized baptism numbers over discernment, repentance over protection, and institutional image over human harm. Child ab*se was not even disqualifying for baptism under the rules we followed. And when the truth emerged, the Church did not stand with the survivor—it stood with the perpetrator.
I watched:
A young girl relive her trauma on the stand
A courtroom persuaded by religious repentance
A sentence softened by perceived “conversion”
A man walk away with minimal consequences
And a Church that never excommunicated him
And then he disappeared—never returning to church again.
This video is my confession.
My reckoning.
My refusal to let silence finish the harm.
I cannot undo the past.
I cannot absolve myself.
But I can tell the truth—fully, publicly, and without excuses.
If you care about:
Clergy abuse
Institutional complicity
Missionary culture
Victim-centered accountability
Or the ways religion can shield predators
…this story matters.
To the survivor whose pain I helped compound: I am sorry.
To my younger self: you were wrong.
And to the institution that taught me obedience over morality: this is on you too.
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